Do you believe?

Do you believe in "the one"? Or do you believe that there are more than 1 "the one" out there just waiting for you to chance upon one (or even more than one) of them? Or is it that these few are only potentials, and that at any one time, there can be just "the one" -- the way The Child of Light and The Child of Dark "moved" from body to body, in David Eddings' Belgariad?

Or do you think this is all hogwash: That we make our own choices and it's all about coincidences and an element of luck? Is life a shapeless lump of clay to mould to your whims and fancies?

I do not believe the world is so disordered and chaotic. Does nature not tend towards some form of order and balance?

I don't know if there is 1, or 2, or 3, or more "the one" out there. I just know "the one" is someone so special, you don't need to think it through from A to Z. He is the missing piece in the puzzle, and when you finally find him and receive this missing piece into your life, you will be complete.

How I ached for the phantom limb when it was ripped from me, sudden and untimely. So many questions. Unanswered all.

And now I appear to be adrift, suspended in some kind of emotionless limbo. Has the past month drained me of all tears, hurt, anger and even, love? Have I been so traumatised by the avalanche that I am in denial again?

I don't seem to feel the hole in my heart anymore...but I feel a greater emptiness of sorts, as if I were now of emptiness. When the missing piece was ripped from me, was the rest of me too torn apart, and now I am but feeling the pieces of me drifting, trying to find their way back together again?

Am I still finding myself?

Picking up the pieces: Only I will recognise and find my own pieces.